Basic Klompen Bitch – Smells like fresh tulips, wooden shoes clunking on cobblestones, and the faint judgment of a Dutch grandmother.
Ah, Tulip Time in Holland, MI: a magical week where tourists invade your quiet town, you’re forced to fake a smile in itchy lace, and the scent of fried food mixes with lingering generational trauma. Basic Klompen Bitch captures that exact duality—equal parts hometown pride and existential dread.
It’s floral. It’s earthy. It’s got the crisp edge of a well-timed “oofda.” Think Holland tulips in full bloom, Michigan birch whispering secrets, and a hint of oak moss that says, “Yes, I danced in nine pairs of socks and survived.”
Limited quantities in-store. Custom orders online. Smell like nostalgia... and passive-aggression.
Basic Klompen Bitch
Candle/Wax Melts: Crafted from a soy/paraffin wax blend, these candles provide 40-50 hours of clean-burning, long-lasting fragrance, perfect for creating a cozy atmosphere.
Lotion: This paraben-free lotion features a nourishing blend of Shea Butter, Aloe, Silk Amino Acids, and Sunflower and Coconut Oils, leaving your skin soft, hydrated, and smooth.
Pulse-Point Roller/Car Diffuser: Experience lasting fragrance with our pulse-point rollers, made with premium skin-safe fragrance oils for easy, mess-free application.
Goat Milk Bar Soap: Handmade with Goat Milk and sustainable, non-GMO Palm Oil, this soap offers a luxurious, creamy lather that's gentle on your skin.
Shampoo/Shave Soap Bar: This versatile bar is crafted with a gentle glycerin base, delivering a rich lather that cleanses hair and skin while providing a smooth glide for shaving. Perfect for multi-purpose use, it leaves skin and hair feeling refreshed and nourished.
Items are eligible for return 14 days after receipt if damaged in shipping. Refunds will be issued on receipt of return, excluding cost of shipping.